Is Your Relationship Just Beginning? To Help You Build a Healthy Relationship

 

Begin discussing the future as soon as possible

While it's important to avoid dwelling on the past, it's also important to keep an eye on the future. It's fine to ask how many kids they want before the salad course arrives on date #1, but you don't want to wait until after a year of dating to find out that they never want a marriage if marriage is a non-negotiable for you to find out. Talking about your life goals, religion, marriage, and politics isn't always fun, but it's natural to incorporate your deal-breakers into the conversation as soon as you see a future together. Also, make it clear if you're searching for a long-term relationship or just a one-night stand.

Don’t skip the sex talk

As a general rule, it's best to avoid personal relationships if you're uncomfortable discussing your sexual health with your partner (including STD tests, history, etc.). Talk about what you enjoy and don't like, as well as what you are and aren't comfortable with, and listen to what the other person has to say. Be aware that "appropriate time" for intimacy varies by pair (forget the "three date rule" or any other bullsh*t rules), and that it is not enough if one partner feels ready to engage in sexual relations with the other.

Do not fall in love with the concept of being in a relationship; instead, fall in love with the person.

Even though dating might be tiresome, there are times when we are more drawn to the notion of being in a relationship than the person with whom we are in one. It's possible to put individuals in boxes that they don't want to be in or to force a spark if you're too focused on finding a happy ending. Because you've already convinced yourself that something must work, you don't see any problems or red flags. Take your partner's words and actions at face value. Assume they aren't The One.. Would you still want to spend time with them? For example, if they make you want to be with them regardless of whether or not they are "The One," you're likely drawn to them, not simply a relationship.

Rather than dwelling on the past, focus on the here and now.

In order to keep your heart from being shattered again, it's only natural that you bring your anxieties and bad experiences into a new relationship. When it comes to a new relationship, past anxieties and doubts can keep you from experiencing true happiness. For example, if your former partner was unfaithful, you shouldn't be suspicious of your new partner because of that. Focus on what sets your new mate apart from the rest. It's a good sign if they're trustworthy enough for you to date them.

The "dating history" discussion will be relevant at some point, but don't jump right into it. Learn about each other's interests and personality traits on the first few dates so that you may get to know each other better. The first date isn't the time to discuss your past relationships or learn about their family history before you learn about their siblings and upbringing.